Who am I?
I’m a husband and Dad. And I am a scientist. I specialize
in very advanced science. I explain it, analyze it and
sometimes I even test it. (Mostly, I just design the
tests.) I'm an Inventor, too. Which means I "invent"
things. Things that never existed before, not just
improvements on other peoples stuff. I can't tell you about
any of my inventions. Sorry. Contracts – you understand. I
analyze lots of things. And make predictions about certain
scenarios. And come up with contingencies. Lots and lots of
contingencies. And lots of analysis. The people I work for
love analyses. I can't tell you who I work for. Sorry –
rules are rules. And the "Romans" love their rules.
I don't work for the CIA – at least I don't think I do. You
never know these days. My paperboy works for the Agency,
now. I'm sure of it. I know lots of people who work for
these types of groups. Most of them are cool. Some of them
are jerks. They know who they are, because I've told them –
to their faces, too. I don't believe in talking behind your
back. I like to see your expression when I tell you off.
Old habits die hard. And no, I can’t tell you about those
habits. I can’t tell you where, or for whom I have ever
done any work, either. Stop asking – and stop spying on me.
Interrogation probably won’t work, either – I like
water-sports. And I’ve flat-lined before – more than once.
But I’m still here. And speaking of spies, I'm not a spy.
No matter what those guys in Belarus may say. So stop
telling people you know a spy. You don’t. I know some
spies. "Spooks" are what they're called in the biz. Most of
them are not scary, though. They're just doing their job.
Which sucks, by the way. They are not James Bond.
They think I am.
I'm not James Bond. I know James. We bump into each other
every now and then. Nice Guy. As long as you aren't from
Tasmania (don't ask) or didn't go to Oxford (the one in
England). Good dancer. Great Dresser. Likes to travel a lot
but he's never on time. Always says he got "tied up." I
think he just can't drive. He's always in accidents, too –
usually big. Probably talking on his cell-phone. He just
HAS to have the latest models. He shops at a cool Sharper
Image store, too. But he won't tell me where. I’ve asked.
More than once.
But I digress.
I’ve been lucky enough to do a lot of things in my life –
except one. I’ve never regretted anything – even the bad
things or the bad times. It’s part of the package deal. And
it evens out in my favor – by a long shot. These days, I’m
mostly a Dad and a husband – the best and hardest jobs I’ve
ever had. And I love them all – the jobs and my family. My
wife Marie, my 5 year old son Luc, my 18 month old son
Ethan, and my sweet short canine herd: Gigi, Charlie,
Bruno, Moto, Fergie, Barakis, Tiny and Shiny – they make it
all worthwhile.